Life is easy kya karein

My yog class has been shifted to morning 0715 to 0800 hrs. The ground outside has one old man who comes wearing long khakhi shorts. He belongs to the RSS. He sweeps the ground at seven am. Then puts a flag post on the tripod. There is no flag. He salutes the imaginary flag and says his anthen/ prayers. He stands in attention and puts his palm facing downwards near his chest and says a few things. The voice is now a mere whisper. The body is frail but erect. He is alone doing this routine every single day. No one even bothers to look at him he carries on day after day even during the heavy rains. Sometimes with the downpour and the winds,his flag post falls down ,but he says all his prayers, songs, anthem with an umbrella in his hand. when I see him, I see an era gone by. I feel sad that his comrades are no more with him or may be they are there with him in spirit. Why else would he come day after day to do this ? To keep their memories alive or to keep himself alive with their memori

So we changed the laptop keyboard and I still did not start writing. I have run out of my favourite excuses that is maids, children, house....All is well.And guess what, I feel low.I am not required to run around. I am not needed to fix things. This sounds like the theory of non existentialism. Hope Nietsche has the heart to forgive me. Train journeys are interesting if I know my destination is close by. I can never locate the ladies first class so was in the general one. In Mumbai, we call it gents first class.I was the only lady and the guys were talking dime a dozen.We had a South Indian guy asking a student about his studies, he said he is appearing for CET. The Gujju next to him said "Oh haan ! MBA MBa." The student says sheepishly "This is for medicine. Mr.Gujju said "Aaj kal kissi ko business karna hi nahin hai, saare naukri hi karte hai." Mr South Indian said "Double degree ke bina kuch nahin hota hai aur jab tak aap padh ke nikalte hai , koi naya

Everything seems to be infected these days. I read that the computer keyboard has more bacteria than your toilet seat. Then I lost all desire to touch the laptop. My phone must be full of so much bacteria in the physical sense. This is apart from my conversations it gets to hear. Am just glad it does not speak as yet. My child tells everyone who visits us , all the things which I would not want them to know. Eg. aaj Bournvita khatam ho gaya toh mamma ne kaha dhoodh mat piyo abhi. Shaam ko peena. The Bournvita is over so mom asked me to have the milk in the evening.This is informed to the guests at seven pm which means I have still not got the bournvita and my child has not yet had milk. My super mom image will crash, is my worry. I have a cousin from my home town who visited our house for the first time. We discuss how it is his first visit and on his earlier trips to Mumbai he could not come home. After all this, I forget to take him around the house. In Gujjus, it is considered a

As I barged into the kitchen after my bath, I saw tears in the maid's eyes. I thought its due to chilly powder coz she is not crying while chopping onions. I asked her and she burst out crying in my arms. Her boyfriend had just called and said his mom said no to their marriage. She kept sobbing and I was just there. He said if he goes against his Mom s wishes he will never be happy in his family life. The girl s aunt had married the boy s chacha against the family s wishes years back. So the Mom will not agree because of the family rivalry. I then heard her on the phone with him while making rotis. She is a pro at making rotis while talking on her cell phone. Todays call was different. She was telling him I cant live without you. You ll move on but no one will want to marry me coz all know about our relationship. She was begging him to reconsider his decision. He told her if you want you can come and talk to my mom. She said I am willing to wait for not two but five years for you t

Every time I have to write there is fear just like before your child s first school interview. I dont know what am I scared of or am I fearful of creating something new. The people who read the blog are my friends and are very kind to me and my writing. So who am I so fearful of. I like writing and that for sure is not hardwork for me. I am lazy and that i think makes me fearful. But I am not lazy in cooking and stuff like that. It is more about things I dont like doing. So what stops me from writing regularly ? I am still pondering over this. The Yoga class has long stopped after paying for the full year and getting a month s membership free. The guilt keeps coming back that why i do not want to go for class. The connection goes to all the thingsthat i have left incomplete. Why did I stop driving and never took it on again. Now fear stops me completely. I have realised my fears but not managed to overcome them. They say self realisation is half the battle won. I do not experience anyt

I had never heard the word "technically challenged" for the first thirty five years of my life. I have got to know the meaning, now that I have got a Blackberry from the husband. I cant believe we make simple things so tough, then make them expensive and people like me fall for all these marketing gimmicks. I resisted buying BB for a long time time. I have downgraded my desire from an i phone. I keep projecting to the husband what a big sacrifice I have made. Waise I do this very often to him about Ihow many sacrifices I have made and more emo demos of that line. Sometimes I am actually fed up with my own nonsense. Anyways , I am completely upset with my new acquisition. May be I resist change, may be I am growing old. The children still have to grow and I am desperate to move with times. This whole urge that if my child asks for a gadget atleast I know what it is. Am I competing with them or am I dying to keep up with all friends who have a BB. God, this is definitely not so

When I am dying to write is the time I am not near my computer or there are other pressing concerns like the children in midst of a fight, a guest coming and meal to be prepared or maids to be instructed. Coming to maids , I have three who work part time for me. Nirmala and Nikita happen to have been full timer earlier at some posh houses in Napean Sea road. They have worked for large rich families. Both speak Gujrati better than me. Both are barely twenty. Nikita even knows English. I am amazed when she talks to the children in the school language. She talks of Dora and Tom and Jerry and Barbie. She tells me to put a chart in the house with names of both children and dates. When they do something bad, I am supposed to put a black star and if they do something good then the star is the colur of their choice.. pink, yellow , red, blue.She plays phone phone with them where the first the maid is supposed to pick up the phone and then pass it to the kid. What a game ! Once the elder child

I went to drop the child to a birthday party of her best friend. It was at four pm on a sunday.... my peak siesta time. She was jumping from three pm all ready to go. With great reluctance I pulled my tracks and took a cab to drop her. The music was jarring for seven year olds party. I walked in and was struck by the mother s beauty. She was like a diva standing in a black gown with a plunging neckline and an animal print stole around her arms. Straight long hair freshly blowdried and set to perfection, so was the make up. God, these kind of women really rankle me.I feel very dowdy in front of them. My messed up hair tied in a bun and mismatched clothes and home footwear.Hey, I cant even walk in heels. I always slot them in a bitchy variety moms, who have maids and mother in laws to raise their kids so they can go to the gym and the parlour and the kitty parties.I also try to justify myself about how I look after the house and the husband and cook fresh meals for my family. No junk fo

Valentine season makes me feel all mushy. Is it like this with couples who are married for long or generally with people in love? All songs from Ishqiya to Karthik to MNIK feel romantic, even friends with hello tunes of Mohit Chauhan feel so. I am happy and have been grinning for no rhyme or reason. There is excitement dunno if in the newspapers or my mind or my heart.The gift is not yet planned. Buying stuff from the sale feels cheap. I am actually looking for a shop which does not have a sale. His arrival from Goa was like a whiff of fresh air. I opened the door with disgust, thinking it is the maid who is late yet another time by fifteen minutes. But it was him. He actually smelled of the sun and the sea. Though he said he barely got to venture out of the conference room to the bedroom. Yesterday a friend got married and I could see the couple in love. So cool so happy and oh so together. All that one soul, twin soul, soul mates kind of words started becoming clear when I saw them.

Happy New Year.....A month late. My child thinks I am so funny. She just said how can you write one month late. I choose to ignore her whenever I have no answers to give. I had a blast in Mahab for 10 days . Bringing in the new year and the new decade was wonderful with family and friends who became family so soon. One of them thinks Mahab, my own short name for mahabalipuram , sounds like rehab. He really thinks we all went for a rehab. Actually, detox definitely happenned. No i did not go thru cold turkey and neither did the family. The child who is reading while I write, wants to know, where is cold turkey? She says" Better tell me instead of writing." I again to choose to ignore but this time with a smile:) The place is simply wow . My second trip and to Pondicherry too. You know in 2003 when I wrote that I will visit mahab after the tsunami, I had no idea it would happen. Even when I put it on the blog from an old diary , i was looking at it as only something fictional i