Tenants

• After marriage, I got to live in apartments in buildings. We lived in rented accommodation. The building has flat owners and some people lease out their apartments. After hostel life, this apartment life is a new ball game entirely. And if you are on rent, God save you. These are smaller buildings where people know each other or have lived around for years. The Watchmen on duty know everyone who come into the building. They know the maids and the drivers too. In fact, if you need a maid, you have to inform the watchman. He chooses which maid, he thinks is suitable for your house and sends her to talk to you. We were not choosy. We hired the first maid, the watchman sent. Soon , there is a flutter in the building that some new tenants have come to live in 'so and so's flat. You learn to start with your hesitant smiles and in some cases are totally ignored. In hostel life, at any given point, you are not alone. Someone or the other is there at the dining room, washroom area or in the corridors. If you are even remotely social, you will be guaranteed company in the hostel. This is not so when you start living in an apartment. It is you and your house. You may have the neighbours who don't like you because you are a tenant, you are from a different state or your food habits or value system is different from theirs.  Most buildings have a manager who manages the day to day running of the building . He has explicit instructions to treat all tenants badly. The watchmen too join this party. There are more rules in the building for a tenant. In fact, the flat owners treat tenants as if they have no right to live in the building or rather they have no rights at all. 
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• In my earlier days of marriage, I was shell shocked with this step-motherly treatment. I would keep telling my husband to buy a house. We were not willing to shift from the area we were in to the suburbs. Our budget did not permit us a house of the kind we were in. The maids also were slightly rude and would make it  a point to tell you that you are in a 'Bhaadey ka Ghar'. The building people would ask questions like Is your husband in a transferable job? How long will you be here? I developed the best friendships there with such amazing people but the initial years were weird. You cannot park here, you cannot keep this here, you cannot do that etc. The watchmen would work like delivery boys for some people and they would barely acknowledge your presence. You could not make big changes in your apartment as you were on rent. Family which visited would say things like "For a rented apartment, you have kept it very well". First time guests, almost always remarked about how they did not see my name on the name plate in the building lobby. Some have walked in and told me "Will the owner sell the this flat and for how much?". This rent taboo does not go. Now it is almost 20 years that I am living on rent. I have settled with my 'rented status' but people have not. Some acquaintances from the earlier building meet me in the market, their first question is "Have you bought a house or still on rent?" Some ask in a not so subtle way, "Have you now bought the house where you live?" Some ask me, What is the permanent address I put in my official documents? Even I keep wondering which address should I put, my in-law's house or our rented accommodation. I have had people ask me when do I plan to shift to my own house. When do I plan to do it up? Is there anything wrong that I am not shifting to my own apartment. Wouldn't it be cheaper if we lived in our own house rather than a rented place? If I am so stuck on this area, which is not so great anyways, then why am I not buying a smaller house here? Very deep philosophical questions which make me look deep within. Deep within my bank account :)
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• In the Pandemic times, when all building societies are fighting over whom to allow in the building and whom not to allow, the tenants have absolutely no say. It is almost as if they are living for free in the apartment or living on charity. People who are in the society WhatsApp groups,  from whichever part of the world, have a very strong opinion. In this matter, the Indian flat owners living in the US, are aggressive. They are always bragging how they do all their housework themselves and do not need any house help like Indians. Uff, the 'We' versus 'you Indians' is so strong. Then there are a few educated ones who have a medical opinion on Covid issues. The ones who write good English and are vociferous in their views are usually against the majority. It is like a total Liberal world where people with 'Live in'  household help will advise everyone about how you cannot have any workers coming in the building. It is a total political scenario . The tenant dare not have any opinions, rights or a say in the matter. When people cannot argue with tenants in the building , they threaten to inform the landlords. Most building committees are clear that tenants cannot have a voice. And the world says #BlackLivesMatter.  Building WhatsApp groups is where you can flex your muscle. Sometimes committee members quit the WhatsApp  group, people who protest or object are removed from the group and so on. In all this rigamarole, the landlord is happy with the chunky rent he is getting and on time,  his house is well taken care of. But even the steady stream of income which the landlord generates, may be bothering the other flat owners. There are large societies with multiple high-rises but the story continues. 
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• Notes to myself:
• Are you a tenant on this planet or are you the owner? How are you living here, as a tenant or as an owner? Is there really a difference between the two?