Dhoop

I am seeing things about myself that I am not comfortable with. I saw that I hate it when the family eats my pickle. My pickle is the pickle which my 'Bhabhi,' sister in law, makes in Dhanbad and has been sending me every year for the last nineteen years. Since the pickle is from my hometown and my 'Maayka', it has that pyaar and the "Apne watan ki mitti ki sondhi khushbu" waali  taste.  I get so cheesed when hubby and children eat that pickle. I am always telling them to eat the other pickle which my mother-in-law has made. It is nice too but they  insist on eating my mango pickle. Suddenly I have realised there are so many things in the house which I consider solely mine. I do not like sharing those things. Children fight about chocolates and I am possessive of any food item which comes from my 'Maayka'. I was not like this during my hostel days. I could share my tuck. One thing is also there that I can hardly make the Maayka food items which I love. I am not a Gujju who can whip up Khandvi, Dhokla, Undhiyu, Muthiya or even thepla in a jiffy. I am not the extreme Gujju who is perpetually making pastas and other western cheesy dishes. I do not belong to any category ...good cook or bad cook. I am just touching average. If my family had to rate my food every day, I would barely scrape through. Rather if I had to rate myself, I would be a Just Pass. Uff, I am not able to put this school report cards behind me. Constant judgement in my life did not come from my parents but from my school. Sit straight. Don't yawn. Cannot hunch. Speak in English.Talk softly, Talk clearly during recitation. Speak loudly while reading a paragraph from the text book.Ask the question properly! What is it that you did not understand? You were not paying attention . You cannot March well. You are not selected. You are hardly competitive. I do not think you did well. You could have scored more here. And more. I am sure the intention was to improve me. But really. what was wrong with me? 

Now, I am doing the same with my children. I am not one of those parents who say that I did not get to enjoy my childhood but you my child..."jaa jee le apni zindagi" ( Go enjoy your life to the fullest). Sometimes I laugh that I have become a clone of my Mother. I do all the same things I hated about her and swore never to do it. My child reacts like how I was in my teens n twenties...a rebel without a cause. That reminds me, this Lockdown I am managing to light Diya and do Dhoop every evening. Dhoop is not an incense stick. It is dried cow dung. I heat a piece of it on the flame of the gas till it turns red. I keep it in my brass Dhoop Daan. Now I add Guggad / Guggal and Lobaan to it. These are two natural ingredients sold as small pebbles or in powdered form. This is the traditional natural incense and diffuser combined into one. As soon as Guggad and Lobaan are added to the red hot cow dung cake, smoke comes out from the Dhoop. I walk around spreading the Dhoop in all corners of the house. I walk ringing the small brass bell too. Dhoop is a natural disinfectant and mosquito repellant. It was used as the natural hair dryer in olden times and even now in villages. It makes the hair smell more beautiful than the L'Occitane Hair Perfume which claims to be pure and natural. No, your hair does not catch fire. 

The Dhoop when it cools down is put in the soil in my pots. As we all know,  that world over the use of fertilisers make the earth barren and infertile. There is only one remedy given by God/Nature to make soil fertile and retain its richness, that is through dry leaves and cow dung. I am assuming buffalo dung will do. How much ever  Western Science has grown, they have yet not found a way to fertilise our soil or even retain its crop/ forest growing capacity. This is the only way. That is why in India, farm animals meant only cows, buffaloes and sheep. It did not include pigs, hens and horses. Ancient wisdom of our ancestors is unbeatable. Cow Dung was put on the walls of all houses and is  done so in  our villages even now. Early morning the cow dung was collected and the Aangan was 'leepoed' with it. Cow Dung cools the walls and protects it from insects. Cow dung was made into flat cakes and dried on the walls of the houses. When dried, it is used as natural fuel to cook food and make the Aangan or the house, warm. It is used for the care of Mother n child post child birth. Dried cow dung cakes are heated and kept in an iron Kadhaai and 'Ajwain' is added to it. The Mother and new born child are given "Sek" with it. It is like a natural heating pad. This process is done after oil massage with one of the indigenous oils from the local area like Sarson or Til Or Coconut. Or post bath, in the winter months. Again this smoke of cow dung and ajwain purifies the room. No need for any chemically produced sanitisers and disinfectants.  During the new born child's sixth day Puja which is called Chhatthi, fresh cow dung is called for. There is a pattern drawn on the wall of the bedroom of the mother and child. The pattern signifies the Goddess or energy which is taking care of the Mother and Child . In India, the 40 day minimum rest period for a mother who has delivered baby is sacrosanct . It is not like , take your seven year old and go to the supermarket and start making meals. The family support system is great. I see women from my Yoga class going to US for six months when their daughters or daughters in law deliver children. They take care to allow the mother to heal and child to grow a bit. The security provided to the child when a family member is taking care out of love cannot be matched with the best  and the most expensive Day Care in the world. 

'Dhoop' in Hindi means the sun's rays. It has beneficial properties and similarly the Dhoop we do at home, the Diya we light with Ghee or oil,  the little bell that we ring or the Conch that is blown in some households, all this is purifying.