Uncool

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When I was in school, I knew the phrase "Cool as a cucumber". Then in Mumbai, I heard the word 'cool' in a different context. After some years of gauche ness, I started considering myself hep and cool. Nowadays, I am scandalised by everything whether it is 377 or adultery. The crimes were there before and even now. But the way the media runs it over and over again, it just spreads like wild fire. Then all that the people do is talk about it. Whether it is a virus or rainfall or floods, we blame someone else. I cannot stay up late for events or movies. I need my eight hours of sleep. I cannot wear uncomfortable clothes which are tight or synthetic or the 'Kaatu' variety. Those are the ones where the fabric feels hot or it pokes into the skin due to the zari or thread work or the synthetic fabric. For me, it is only about comfort wear. It also means that a lot of women are comfortable in the tight synthetic clothes which I cannot stand. So for all these reasons I am uncool. I cannot understand why one needs alcohol to enjoy or de-stress. I cannot understand why drink is such a major part of social gatherings. I have not become holy but I have definitely started loving my body. I do not want to abuse it in any way. Fried food is my weakness and I do eat it often. But even outside food in Mumbai, is tasteless. The chefs have no flavour in the food especially the new restaurants. At least the older restaurants have stuck to their signature dishes and their taste is distinct and consistent. The new age restaurants serve absolutely bland food in aluminium mugs or coloured old crockery. Where is the flavour which food is India is famous for? We have the maximum herbs growing in our country. Why aren't the chefs using them to make the food full of flavour. Who said 5 star hotel trained chef has to make bland food?  The tasty stuff is the packaged french fries which they reheat and that is about it. So Yes I am uncool because I have not been to all these restaurants. And these cooks who cannot make one cuisine properly are now mixing cuisines. Two bad dishes when mixed together and displayed well as fusion cuisine, does not make one good tasty wholesome dish. The salads have lost their crunchiness and the desserts are not light any more. Serving third rate food with grunge decor and playing ear piercing music is definitely not done. 

I am uncool because I am not able to go to every exhibition or play or movie in town. I do not shop for all festivals. I do not buy stuff in the Shraddh period even though lot of designer sales are on. I cannot connect to the 'Flucy' lifestyle. So let me tell you, where this word came from. In the college hostel, my room mate's boyfriend now husband, used to say it. 'Flucy' meant fake lifestyle where someone does not get that it is also appearing fake. Now 'fake' is a meaning I have given. The superficiality of 'partying' simply drains me. For some people, meeting friends is the best thing to happen. I am not able to do so. Mindless rounds of lunches and dinners are tiring. Some people love it and can eat out on most days. I am uncool as I cannot do that. I prefer 'Varan Bhaat' at home. That is the Marathi version of Dal and rice. I always wanted to be a cool Mom. Gosh, I do not even dress up like a supposedly cool Mom. I wear my clothes for a couple of years at least. I thought I  will have energy to be a ' Soccer Mom' or whatever is the Indian version of the American slang. The mindless classes which Mothers put their kids in, make me uncool. A three year old is put in sports, writing, speech and drama and sketching or art. Where is the childhood? Or should I say 'Where is the Motherhood gone?'

I met a tuition teacher who teaches only the rich and the famous's kids. She was one pampered good teacher. She was with her Mother and could see through the mothers. In a little conversation with me she said a lot. Be uncool for some time. Try it. The fathers for whom gymming, partying and having an extra marital affair is more important. The In-laws who want to be young forever and not be a part of their children or grand children's lives. The Aunts and Uncles who are busy with their own lives and kids, with no time for nephews and nieces. The children whose every outing has to be with friends, Be a little uncool, for a change.  

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