Goal

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The festivities are still on at my house front. We celebrate most festivals which happen between Eastern and Western parts of India. I have added one from North India this year to my list of traditions. Karwa Chauth, done not the 'nirjal'(without drinking water) way but with fluids, was fun. I find all celebrations interesting. I never get tired of attending parties and weddings. And the reason is simple. I am not required to be at any function. My attendance is not mandatory and all events will happen as well without me. Just knowing this is so freeing and so depressing. I see my friends working and running their homes as well. I wonder what is my goal in life. Do I have a purpose in life? Will I die for a cause I believe in?

Really, does everyone have a place they want to reach in life? My children want to know what I will become when I am big. I say "Beta , I want to become a Gardener", considering I have no green fingers. Your children make you aware about the questions in life, which you have been conveniently avoiding. I have no dreams or aspirations. I do not want to become anyone or anything. I am just so scared to work to become a pilot, a chef, a dress designer, an entrepreneur, a teacher, a writer, a manager, a Doctor or God knows what. I do not dream that I will have a big house when I am sixty. I do not have goals like I would have seen the world by the time I turn fifty. I do not have dreams about what careers my children will have. I do not know where I am going on my next holiday. I can plan my holiday and execute that plan too. I never dream of buying designer shoes or clothes or jewellery. But, there is always a 'but' as I do not dream. I never aspire for things. I have become so content in life. I know it is not   that I am disillusioned. I love material things. I like what money can provide. Given a choice, I would want all those gadgets, holidays and rocks which money can provide.I am just bone lazy in dreaming.

In heart of hearts, I do want fame and  wealth. I do want three or four houses. I want a house in the hills to experience the cold weather. I want a house by the backwaters of Kerala for the dark green colour around me. I want to take long walks down a lane with wheat fields on both sides and butterflies for company. I want to sit by the fireside with my husband, children, their spouses and watch my grandchildren play. I want to work towards educating people. I want my children to have amazing life partners. I do want to publish my writing. I want to be a successful author. I want to make a difference in people's lives. I want to contribute. I want my life to be used for a cause.


Are these my SMRs? Specific Measurable Results? Is this my goal? Does everyone have a vision for their life? Are these my dreams or is this my practical sense of well being? Is this stemming from the fact that there should be security in life? I might sound repetitive in my lamenting about myself. Here is hoping that you have your goals in place and are happy with the way your life is going. I am going to set up my goals now, starting with Gardening.


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