M for Maayka

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In India, married women have this huge joy in visiting their Mother's house ie maayka in Hindi. Vacations,in earlier times, were almost always to the mother's house with the children. The girl's parents got to spend time with their child and grandchildren. The Maternal uncle or Mama was a popular man as he would be catering to all the needs of his nephews and nieces. The lady got to spend time with her parents. The grandparents pampered their child and grandchildren. Maximum joy a mother experiences when her children are well looked after. So the lady who has come to her parents' place is happy that her children are thrilled. The parents are happy that their daughter is well looked after by the son in law.Its a Win Win situation for all.

Each parent in India has one main aim and that is to see their children settled. 'Settled' for a girl child is happily married and married into a family richer than theirs preferably. Career and the rest is not of much importance. This holds true for all strata of society. The new educated parents want their child to study and work. The main thing in their mind is that the child's future is secured. They also think that the child will not get bullied by in-laws and will be able to have a better lifestyle.Some parents think that if their girl is working post marriage, the husband will treat her better. Most daughters when they go their parent's house, do not work. They get to sleep late and wake up late. There is no work responsibility on the girl on a vacation. The girl is on a familiar ground and yet chilling around her loved ones.

I make all this sound so cold and calculated because I cannot understand this joy women experience in their Mom's house. I cannot understand these vacations in familiar places. May be because I have lived in a hostel for years and am used to doing my work. May be I am not appreciative of the effort other people put in to make their daughter's stay truly wonderful. May be I like more adventurous holidays. May be I am relaxed in my own home, hence that need to chill at mother's place does not exist. I definitely feel this is the only way, the children will know their maternal grandparents. In India in lot of families, the paternal grandparents live with the family or come over to stay often. The maternal grandparents as per the Indian customs and traditions do not come to stay in their daughter's house.I see women visiting their mother's house even when they live in the same locality. They go for stay overs, they go for all social occasions and drop their children when they are out for parties. Its in India that the grandparents form this huge support system.

One thing I know for sure,I want to be an amazing Grand Ma to my grandchildren.

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