What makes your marriage tick?

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I have a strong opinion on divorce. I am always pro the ditched party. For me, the one ditched is always the first wife. The bad one is almost always the man and not the other woman. This is the case even if I read of Mona kapoor, Boney Kapoor's wife passing away. I am writing a very filmy example as by the grace of God, amongst the people I know there are not many divorces. God help me. These days I am scared to utter a good thing with the fear that it may soon become untrue for me.I thought that a certain film actress took away the producer husband from his wife. I thought of the children from the first wife. Even after her death, I think and feel bad for the children. I am not linked to films in any way except being an occasional film viewer. I do read a lot of Mid Day and Bombay Times.

In case of Dharmendra and Hema Malini, I always felt she was short changed. He married her but he was always with his first family at all public functions. I have no business of judging people in the film industry, I am just sharing the kind of emotions I feel.

In India, divorce is not as rampant as in the western countries. But divorce still hurts. Especially when the couple which was deeply madly in love, breaks off, I feel bad. Am I a romantic at heart? I don't think so.Do I believe one can never fall out of love? Of course that can happen and easily. People change and so do their preferences and choices. Is it okay to change your partner/ spouse because you have changed? I am not talking about divorce due to cruelty, abuse, torture, addiction, sleeping around etc. I am referring to normal apparently healthy marriages where the couples just drift apart. Where suddenly one spouse feels he /she needs different things from their life partner. Where gradually one spouse falls out of love. Where suddenly your destinations change and you do not want to walk the same path. What is divorce by mutual consent? How can both drift apart after making so many promises of a life of togetherness? Why do the recent statistics say that first marriages have less chance of survival? What is it in the second marriage that a spouse does better? Why does he/she fall in love with someone else while being married to one? Is it love or is it companionship? Its definitely not sex is my opinion. We will never know an unbiased view as all answers will be subjective. I have no business of taking a moral stand in between the couple. Is marriage the most sacrosanct institution? Some people without love manage great marriages? Does love necessarily result in a good marriage? Why do people throw 'letting go/ understanding/compromise' and such words in a marriage?

Nothing is permanent in this world. But can one enter a marriage with this thought?



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