Ownership

The Dilemma continues in my mind. This time it is to shift or not shift. Own house vs rented house. Own house on loan vs house given by the company. Own house in suburbs vs a company place in town. Own house far from work and kids school vs a well located rented accommodation. Own house road facing vs rented house sea facing. Own house with a pool n huge lawns vs a single building in the rented block. Own house to do furniture vs fully furnished company given flat. I have lived in hostels for fourteen years of my life and in company given accomadation for the last eleven years. Hostels were fine except for the social taboo in the Gujarati community. The moment I said I live in a hostel, the looks changed. Sly comments like Now you dont like living at home and hostel timings would arise. I took it with a pinch of salt. But staying in a company given flat post marriage has been tough. The people in your building look at you as if thats the worst that could happen. Its always a rented place because you dont have your own place. I had to swallow a bitter pill and answer the building people. When we got married, the watchmen , building manager( God bless his soul) and all the building occupants treated us a bit shabbily. It was in their attitude. We felt quite like outcasts. People would ask me how long will I live here. If I took my child down for a walk, the people were curious about two things: my rented house and my inter caste marriage. I would come up and howl. Sometimes, I d fight with my husband for not having our own place. Amongst all the un belonging feeling , this was the worst that could happen. I was never a part of the building talks, renovation or parties.We were not invited for any building weddings inspite of knowing the families beyond courtesy hellos. Thanks to my children and my non working status, I made friends in the building and was a part of all the fun. But for years, all the fights in our house were about why cant we buy a house and live in it. The building had only housewives with an odd working woman. Till then I did not know know how to converse with house wives. Some people belonged to another century. The friends I made were fun and like minded. We changed three apartments in the same building in ten years and then it was time to bid goodbye. Househunt lasted for six months for a new rental place. All helped and all advised. People said to move into any place as its going to be for a short while. But I wanted a house. Somehow, inspite of all this external conversation about owning a house vis a vis living in a rented place, I loved all the houses I lived in. They were never rented places for me. They were home.Hostel felt home when I lived there. How much ever we partied, end of the day I wanted to go home and home was the room shared by two in the hostel. The society is so proprietorial. All want to own a house, a place, a flat, a bunglow, a penthouse a palace maybe. But where does this lead. The world's richest private house is still unoccupied despite the staff of 600 and all the luxuries. Really, owning a house doesn't mean a thing. Then again I am giving an example of someone who can afford houses or cities. It gives me a high for a while and makes me feel rich and then life goes on. There are people I know for whom ownership of a house is the most important thing in their life. I am not talking about having a roof over your head. That sure is important. I am talking of owning,possessing and gloating.

Comments

  1. GOod read- my two cents here- owning a place is an investment for me viz-a-viz renting out.

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