I don't want to meet anyone first time

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Two events totally unrelated but both have irritated me no end. Specially when I am writing about Babasaheb Ambedkar and his followers, my own experience is not so good with Mumbaites.
Let me start with the majority community which lives here. Before they ask your name, they want to know your surname. In Maharashtra, the surname is decisive of who you are. I am referring to all the people I meet for the first time. The question almost always centers around which surname, which village. They make their calculations about my wealth , income and social strata from there. I am not referring to the maids, the shopkeepers or vendors I talk to.I am talking about the well educated,well traveled, learned and cultured majority community here. Every single time I am asked these questions I am triggered. I can't believe Babasaheb is from Maharashtra and they are still routed in these casteist thoughts. It must be happening in other states though I have never experienced it in Bihar,Jharkhand n Gujarat personally. We grew up in Jharia which was multi cultural. Fatehpur Lane had Gujaratis, Bengalis, Biharis and Marwaris. We had a hotel run by a Sardar family in the lane. No one wanted to know which caste I was. School was again full of Bengalis, Biharis, Keralites, Kashmiris, Punjabis, Anglo Indians etc. No caste distinctions in school only class ones.
Why do educated people want to know my mother tongue. I have another issue as soon as I give my surname, they switch their langauage of communication. Fool that I am, I clarify that I am a Gujarati and my husband is a Marathi. The reply is so predictable" Oh, Love Marriage!!!!" If that person talking is a Gujarati, then they want to know if I am a Jain or a Vaishnav? They also go one level more and want to know "Mummy Pappa maani gaya?" Which means, your parents agreed?
After that there is a pause and I am immediately viewed differently. Maybe as a non Marathi or a non Gujarati or someone who is fast or someone who snatched a good guy from their community or....
I keep telling myself that I am better off without such people in my life and then I meet one more new person.

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