Why this Kolaveri Di?

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When I sit to write there are thoughts. But then I have no Title to write. What is important is what I write.Or should I first make an interesting caption/ title and then weave a story around it. Every time I am also thinking about is it the truth or rather my version of it or is it something I have added some juice to make it interesting. Question comes to my mind that who am I writing for. Myself or my friends or is it there a larger audience somewhere. The desire for name, fame and appreciation is definitely there. Now the question is, Is this about my writing or is this about everything in my life?
Am I looking for appreciation and acknowledgement for every single act of mine? Can I just be be happy with what I have done? I have gone into a new thing these days, which is about acknowledging all the people who help me in some way and I am aware of it. I also expect the same in return and that too big time.Now, the grudge is that if you are going to my designer or my jeweler, rather the one recommended by me, make sure you thank me for it every time you visit. These are all standards I set for myself to show how high I am and so above you. Who is this "you" I am constantly wanting to prove myself to? My folks, in laws, friends , extended family or my immediate family? The urge is to just say "I am better than you." This self generated war is with everyone. I am creating competition with my maids, my ex bosses, my ex colleagues, friends, children,....The list is long. I just want to say I do it better.
I am not liking this internal war which is playing all day in my mind. I want to just be but I am comparing. 'My Being' has become 'my Being in comparison'. There is nothing carefree anymore. Neither me nor my thoughts. There must be some angst to not feel fulfilled. May be youtube has the answer to Why this Kolaveri Di?

Comments

  1. MallikaNovember 25, 2011 at 6:37 AM

    whyy dis koleaveri kolaveri di....You rockk:))
    luv ya
    malli

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gajraj RaoNovember 26, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    Hummm...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Parul KanseNovember 28, 2011 at 5:26 AM

    Thanks MV n GR :)
    Pls teach me aise comments pe dhanywad likhna appropriate hai na ? Ya fir e mail pe likhna hota hai? I better learn some new age blog manners, FB manners etc.

    ReplyDelete

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