My relationship with money

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Just could not bring myself to write more on money. On marriage, money was double but I experienced lack in my mind. We were earning and saving more, but there was no time to enjoy that wealth. Going to the parlour was also such an effort. It was like there was no time to spend that money. Work, work and more work. These are totally my feelings , I am sure the husband may have a different view on it.

Then when I quit working, I was not missing the money but the power the job had with it. Then struggle with power started or may be it was always there. Suddenly I was guilty of eating fruits thinking my Hubby works so hard the whole day and how can I eat without him or spend on myself. Like I said these were thoughts at that point of time. It does not mean, I was spending , buying or eating less. End of the day, we do not remember what we ate, spent, bought etc just how we felt at that point of time.
After Devika turned two I got that it is all ours. Till then it was that my child will turn five and I will get back to work and my money will start flowing in. I got that my husband is mine then how come I do not treat his money the same way.
So then I started enjoying money and experiencing abundance. I also had this belief that you have to struggle to make money. I was not particularly fond of Laxmi as a Goddess.Other Goddesses I was ok with. Did not like her pressing Vishnu s feet all the time. Though I do that too and willingly.
Again when I see someone travelling abroad, well groomed, nice house all the jealousy starts creeping in. Then I put it all to money. It is a blame game I play.

Lots has changed and I am aware of the games I play and the drama that starts within.

Comments

  1. UnknownDecember 1, 2009 at 4:33 PM

    Parul tu dil se likti hai

    ReplyDelete
  2. vinayDecember 3, 2009 at 5:01 PM

    Dear P
    money alone cant buy us happiness.

    so many filthy rich guys I know have made a mess of their lives.
    any many a country bumpkins I have met live a life thats a distant dream for us now.
    close to nature
    scanty resources
    tough life
    but happy contented.
    in their own world.

    but then its an inevitable cycle.

    but lets stay contented , and count our blessings.
    God bless.


    like this one ,written on back of many trucks in Punjab

    chandren notan ne tera chann pardesi kitta !

    ReplyDelete

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