My relationship with Money

This morning a friend shared her relationship with money over the phone. I was surprised at the many layers and dimensions to it. I want to explore this for myself too. So first time I have my topic and I have to write on it or about it. Usually I go the other way round. I write first and give a suitable title later.
Money is not something I talked much about. Born into a rich family, my Dad being a self made man. I always had money for all that I wanted or needed. There were no lack of money conversations in the house. In school, I did not talk money with this fear that I wont be accepted if I talk too much about what I do or where we go or what we buy. At home sunday dinners were always to the best restaurant in town. I remember a school friend asking" Tum Log har sunday skylark mein khaana khaate ho?" Skylark being the best hotel in town. I didnt know whether to say yes or no. The friendship was important and I did not want to offend her in any way or rather what I thought may offend her in any way.
Gran had made us all in the habit of saving. She had bright coloured SBI/UBI bank plastic pouches for each of the children. She would give us money every month and we d collect it in that and she d put it in her cupboard. More savings and then we went to the bank with Granny and she d make FD s for all of us. I remember accompanying her to lot of these bank trips. I was also priviliged to go to her locker where all her gold was and she d show it all to me. I was allowed to wear during Diwali a chain with a locket. I used to be very thrilled about it. So money was not something I spent it was always kept safely.
Then when I grew up a bit more, I used to keep some money in a navy blue wallet in my aluminium peti which was a small box which children carried to school. That peti was locked. One day our house help stole all the money from there. I am still upset about it. Then in college , I was going with gran to jamshedpur in someone s car. I had my money in the bag. The driver of the car flicked it when I left the bag unattended. I am still so upset about loosing that money and more for all those thieves who stole my money.Money gets stolen is what I thought.
In college, I always had more than ample money from Dad to do all that I wanted to and buy what I wanted. I remember respecting his trust in me. I did shop a lot when it was time to go home. Some students got very little pocket money and I felt sad and worried for them. Most of them had boyfriends who d spend on them. It was college days so some had BFs who would not even feed them food. So unconsciously, I had all male friends with lots of money. College friends remarked that I was having so much money or showing off about it. Hence I learned that money was not to be talked about.

Then came a phase when money was scarce for me and friends used to give me without asking for it back. My needs were taken care of. I always had money. Then I started working and money was flowing in again. Soon I got into comparison mode. Who earned more than me? I always was keen to know how much each person made.
Then the colleagues who were all senior in terms of number of years they worked, got higher salaries. So there was hurt there with money and bosses who gave me a lower salary. In all this I always had for all my wants/ needs.
Then came a phase where all the friends I had were paupers. I was always paying for them and feeling very proud about it. Finally I got fed up of paupers too, people who could never manage their money. I could not stand people who did not know to manage and live within their means.

In all this , when I grew up I was always told that I will marry a well to do guy. Now I started looking for class with money. What was it about me or about money I have no idea.
Even penning these things is an eye opener. More later, when I make more money:)