Just found an old diary in my clutter cleaning and found this written on
As I sat down to write the mind went blank . All thoughts which were floating incessantly now ceased to exist. Maybe nothingness is a good place to start from. I had a blank canvass and I can create. What more could I ask for.
The winter sun was warm on my back. The Sunday newspapers strewn all around me. The Christmas decorations now looked a bit faded. This was the new year and with it came new resolutions. The time to review the past had gone. I had to have a new beginning. The Tsunami clippings kept flashing in front of my eyes.
Langkawi- where we went on our honeymoon. Negombo in Sri Lanka where the sea was so close and oh so charming. We had it cause the airline decided to give us a free stopoer.
Goa in the rains, the hotel construction site where I had my brand new job.I loved the smell of the soi,l brick, mortar mixed with the sea and the November rains. The evenings were spent staring at the rain falling in the swimming pool, sea roaring at a distance and me thinking about the baby to come.
Where Langkawi was long and languorous, Phuket was exciting and fun. We were a family now. The little one loved the sea and the pool. She had picked up a few thai words and had started calling me Yai- for mom in the local language. She was soaking it all. The morning dip in the sea , one saw a lot of Indians coming from a cruise. The cruise gave them six hours in this paradise. With their new clothes, new cameras and new shoes from Mustafa in Singapore, They would only be on the sand clicking pictures for posterity. I felt a bit conscious in my bikini. They felt Indians because I was abroad. In India , we were different states, communities, caste languages. The Thai lady fully covered to prevent herself from the harsh tropical sun came to sell colorful sarongs. I had promised a friend I would get her one. Indianness not forgotten, I got down to bargaining. That is what we are good at aren’ t we?
We reached Mahabalipuram in the pitch of the night. The sea was calm as we rushed to our cottage. Morning was a surprise. The bright blue sea was at my door step.
Driving along the east coast road to Pondicherry and thinking of living in one of the fishing hamlets. MY Dad s uncle had moved from London to Pondicherry. We were paying him a visit. We had to rush back to Chennai to catch a flight. The city has a different charm so unlike apna Bombay, though both are located by the sea.
Self and a colleague were on work in Trivandrum. We had taken a half day off to visit KanyaKumari and Kovalum. Walking on the beach barefoot with our business suits and asking for breakfast in a small hut. It was low season and I know what the world was missing out on.After darshan at kanyakumari we had eaten sumptuous pav bhaji with Priti Zinta and Salman khan staring at us from the wall posters. How Bombay and bollywood had traveled all the way. We reached a temple just as dusk was setting in. Lights went out. The oil diyas guided us thru this century old miracle where all the pillars emanated sounds of various musical instruments. I remember calling husband from there. I felt so close to God.
And now all that had gone, bruised, battered lives lost and devastation all around. And what had I done when the nature was at its furious best, I got myself glued to watch more tv. For God s sake I am alive, But worse than the dead. Thought of the few old clothes. I wanted to give away as they were occupying too much space in my cupboard.. Ya may be some food grains. Then which NGO was good and where should I donate so that it reaches faster. The USA? oh they will spend on war not on aid.
I thought of all these beautiful moments in all these beautiful places. Each image is so distinct and the memory so vivid. And then on boxing day, the tsunami took it all away.
The shrill ring of the phone pierced my thoughts. The husband called to say he had sent money for relief. A small smile appeared on my face. He always said it with actions. I am lucky.
It was that moment the decision was made. I was going back to holiday in all these places cause. I believe in the people I know new things will come up. I know we will leave past behind and embrace a new future. Welcome us please, Dear Happy New Year.