Boundaries of Love

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 Making people laugh is a huge skill or a big art. I do not know how people manage that. I consider myself as someone who can laugh at jokes but not make people laugh. Is it an acquired skill? Does one learn it from family or from friends? Are loners good in humour or are gregarious people best at it? My mindless TV watching is about stand up comedy. Do I laugh about anything and  everything? No way! I have set up boundaries even there. I can create boundaries where none exist. That is the power of our mind. We think we are breaking boundaries or making our circle bigger? Is it about making more concentric circles? Do Venn diagrams still exist in my life?  Being liberal is one more such farce which I keep insisting on. I am open to what I think is good and right whether for me or for society or for the world. Life is always about me except that I am able to con a few into agreeing to my views or telling them mine are better than yours.  'I am better than you' is the eternal battle I am fighting. The 'you' keeps changing along the way. 

'Back home' is a phrase which takes me back to  Fatehpur Lane, Jharia. I am so glad I was born in Dhanbad. Back home is a place different from what is home now. People who travel n settle in another place always have so many tales to tell. I am just so nostalgic. Going back home and settling is not an option. Back home was home then and it is not home now. What is home? A house where you grew up ? A town where you have friends ? A place where your school was? A place where memories were. Did I pack them up properly when I left? Was there an godown where they were stored? Did I pay a rent for the box of memories? Was it a neatly arranged box or a haphazardly made ' Mothri/ Gathri" with a few memories peeping out? Now neither the film nor a trailer of memories remain. It is only a few snapshots. Are they fading with time?  The feeling of love, childhood and its warmth remains. A blanket of warmth in the chilly rainy mornings of Mumbai.

Definition of 'chill' and 'rains' both have changed dramatically from Jharia to Amchi. Mumbai no more glitters like gold. I have made my small little village out of it. My lane has become my Fatehpur Galli. I like the small town feel of it. The people knowing each other n smiling feels good. It is not an encroachment of my privacy as a lot of people feel these days. They want to drown in the anonymity of a big city and I want to make my own piece of haven. May be anonymity is the heaven some are looking for.  I hear of gossip n politics in Dhanbad and I feel in Mumbai we all live so far apart, there is not even a scope for  that. 'Far apart' in more ways than one.  

When I write some meandering thoughts, friends worry about me. I get messages asking if I am okay when they feel my writing has a sadness. Writing is my my 'Fatehpur Galli', to be myself. Friends are that blanket which keeps me warm with love and concern. Boundaries of love.


Comments

  1. PriyaDecember 17, 2020 at 3:04 AM

    I loooovvvveeed this piece and so associate with your thinking. Even tho I've always been a Bombay girl (saying Mumbai still doesnt come easily) I have those small town thoughts of my little world of Matunga...till I moved on...and further

    Keep walking the bylines of your Fatehpur Galli' ....never lose the magic of a random conversation

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Parul KanseJanuary 4, 2021 at 3:09 AM

      Thanks Priya. Your poems keep that creativity in me alive.

      Delete
  2. ShaliniDecember 17, 2020 at 3:56 AM

    Loved your write up Parul Di! It’s something about small towns, it’s something about “that home” that keeps pulling at your heart strings....n how. More often than never a lane, a lonely road , a golamber from those past days flashes in front of my eyes and calls me back to those once so familiar roads.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Parul KanseJanuary 4, 2021 at 3:02 AM

      Thank you, Shalini. Yes that one aroma or one glimpse takes me to what I think of Home

      Delete
  3. UnknownDecember 17, 2020 at 2:36 PM

    Parul you are an impeccable writer.We could connect ourselves. Wow! I am impressed by the way you pen down your thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Parul KanseJanuary 4, 2021 at 3:02 AM

      Thanks. Don't know you but grateful for your kind encouraging words.

      Delete
  4. RupaDecember 18, 2020 at 9:18 AM

    Super
    It evoked emotions with each sentence.

    ReplyDelete

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