Megha
Today the maid who works for us in the afternoon came with her sister in law's sister in law's daughter. The maid told me over the phone that she has got the girl to play with Devika. I was annoyed as I do not like new people coming home when I am not there. I kept ringing the door bell but they did not open the door. Walking into the house with my own bunch of keys, I found them both on the terrace folding clothes. They were so engrossed in their talk that they never heard the door bell. I had asked the child in the car if she wanted to play with Megha and she had said no. She also added that now that Megha is there I may as well play with her.
Nine year old Megha is a fiesty child.She has thick long hair tied in a plait and twinkling eyes. She is plump and was wearing a black t shirt and red knee length pants. She calls our help Foi ie Bua or Aunt and wants to help her in the housework. Her fourth standard exams are over and she wants to play with the girls. She goes to a Gujarati medium School. They teach her English, Hindi and Marathi too. She is fluent in Gujarati, Marathi, Hindi. In her school they teach her English words for fruits and vegetables. She rattled them for me. I asked her of she goes for tuitions. She said she has three brothers who can teach her and isnt that better than learning from an outsider. Her three brothers are her first and second cousins. Her mother passed away long back, her father has a drinking problem. The father's sister is raising all the three children and have kept them with her. They got Megha s elder sister married too. When I asked Megha if her elder sister calls her, she said "She is busy handling her own house and doing her house work". There was no complaint in the child's voice, it was a matter of practicality for her.
Megha asked me if she can play in the living room, I said yes. After a while, she asked if she can go to the terrace. I realised these questions were coming because the elder one would have told her that Mom doesn't allow us to play on the terrace. Children want to play without the adults probing eyes judging them. Some time later, the elder one showed her Indian classical dance steps. Megha immediately told her the dance I know wont suit you and showed her a Bollywood step. I was listening to the little bit of their interactions while I was cooking. Megha would run to come to help me to wash the vessels or to stir the onions I was frying. No one had put any fear in her about the gas or the kitchen. She told me she can cut onions, potatoes and clean fenugreek leaves/ methi. She fries onions and is not scared of little oil which splutters and nothing happens to her with oil. My ten year old was awed with Megha's guts. She could not believe that Megha could make me agree to things , I normally have laid laws for.
I was concerned about the kind of things she will talk to the children and the influence it will have on them. I did not want her to feel like a 'have not'. Though our children have mimimal clothes, I did not want her to see their cupboards, lest that seem too much for her. I did not want her to feel that this is a good house and hers is not. She did peep out a lot to see her shanty. I did not want her to discuss my house and children in her chawl. I did not want the children to feel superior. I was planning my bed time conversation about how to handle this Megha issue. I wanted to tell children how I cant have her home every day. I did not want to voice that she may be a bad influence. I also had thoughts of equality of children and people. I was hoping that the children may not notice the parity or ask me uncomfortable questions. I know they should experience people from all economic backgrounds, but the uneasiness rested with me. I did not want to be harsh but firm with my children. I did not want childrent to be a topic of discussion amongst her neighbourhood. What if the children say they want to go to play to her Chawl. I go there for Pooja and Holika, but that's about it. I realised I was being fake if I said my children should be exposed to friends from different backgrounds. I was insecure about the whole situation and had no idea how to handle it.
Megha was not bothered about all these concerns of mine. She was happy , free and caring child. She was totally secure and complete in herself. They were playing all over the house. Her Aunt came back from another job. She rushed to help her Aunt to do the dishes. Both our girls went to wipe the dishes. The maid was thrilled to receive help from three young giggly girls. She kept thanking them. I smiled over all my worries.
Nine year old Megha is a fiesty child.She has thick long hair tied in a plait and twinkling eyes. She is plump and was wearing a black t shirt and red knee length pants. She calls our help Foi ie Bua or Aunt and wants to help her in the housework. Her fourth standard exams are over and she wants to play with the girls. She goes to a Gujarati medium School. They teach her English, Hindi and Marathi too. She is fluent in Gujarati, Marathi, Hindi. In her school they teach her English words for fruits and vegetables. She rattled them for me. I asked her of she goes for tuitions. She said she has three brothers who can teach her and isnt that better than learning from an outsider. Her three brothers are her first and second cousins. Her mother passed away long back, her father has a drinking problem. The father's sister is raising all the three children and have kept them with her. They got Megha s elder sister married too. When I asked Megha if her elder sister calls her, she said "She is busy handling her own house and doing her house work". There was no complaint in the child's voice, it was a matter of practicality for her.
Megha asked me if she can play in the living room, I said yes. After a while, she asked if she can go to the terrace. I realised these questions were coming because the elder one would have told her that Mom doesn't allow us to play on the terrace. Children want to play without the adults probing eyes judging them. Some time later, the elder one showed her Indian classical dance steps. Megha immediately told her the dance I know wont suit you and showed her a Bollywood step. I was listening to the little bit of their interactions while I was cooking. Megha would run to come to help me to wash the vessels or to stir the onions I was frying. No one had put any fear in her about the gas or the kitchen. She told me she can cut onions, potatoes and clean fenugreek leaves/ methi. She fries onions and is not scared of little oil which splutters and nothing happens to her with oil. My ten year old was awed with Megha's guts. She could not believe that Megha could make me agree to things , I normally have laid laws for.
I was concerned about the kind of things she will talk to the children and the influence it will have on them. I did not want her to feel like a 'have not'. Though our children have mimimal clothes, I did not want her to see their cupboards, lest that seem too much for her. I did not want her to feel that this is a good house and hers is not. She did peep out a lot to see her shanty. I did not want her to discuss my house and children in her chawl. I did not want the children to feel superior. I was planning my bed time conversation about how to handle this Megha issue. I wanted to tell children how I cant have her home every day. I did not want to voice that she may be a bad influence. I also had thoughts of equality of children and people. I was hoping that the children may not notice the parity or ask me uncomfortable questions. I know they should experience people from all economic backgrounds, but the uneasiness rested with me. I did not want to be harsh but firm with my children. I did not want childrent to be a topic of discussion amongst her neighbourhood. What if the children say they want to go to play to her Chawl. I go there for Pooja and Holika, but that's about it. I realised I was being fake if I said my children should be exposed to friends from different backgrounds. I was insecure about the whole situation and had no idea how to handle it.
Megha was not bothered about all these concerns of mine. She was happy , free and caring child. She was totally secure and complete in herself. They were playing all over the house. Her Aunt came back from another job. She rushed to help her Aunt to do the dishes. Both our girls went to wipe the dishes. The maid was thrilled to receive help from three young giggly girls. She kept thanking them. I smiled over all my worries.
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