Life is easy kya karein

 Nowadays, Restaurants make us happy.  We are not happy with good food but with a great ambience. Cafes are the next in thing. Everyone wants to meet in a cafe. All Cafes have similar food which is totally Non Indian. In restaurants in South East Asia, all can have any cuisine , but they will have a few local dishes. Not so in India. We are so busy aping the Western Cuisine and leaving aside Indian food. Indian meals are far more nutritious but we want to look chic and that's why we d rather be seen hanging around these Cafes. I can't take my parents to most of these places as they don't eat this food like bland pizzas, pastas and Sourdough sandwiches. I can barely eat this food and I don't expect my parents to like it.  I do not drink Coffees and almond milk from a Tetra pack is not my idea of healthy food. In the name of Veganism, a whole new market of packaged food has come up on the shelves of supermarkets. Same in the name of Keto diets. The new generation is getti...

 Actually, things are quite simple, once we stop resisting them. Resistance is all in the mind. In fact, our body too resists when the mind is screaming. Shrinking, feeling tight in the heart, in the gut and jaws. I don't frown but I can feel that urge to pull my hair or rather massage my hair, when I am stressed.   The left ankle is used for kicking the bucket, shutting the bathroom door, pushing the laundry basket away, straightening the Yog mat and some kitchen drawers too. How I hate bending to open drawers and pulling out vessels. The iron vessels which I love the most, I resist the most. Same happens with the people I love, . The Lodge iron pan, which the husband got from a trip to Canada,  long before Lodge was available here and The Dosa Tawa which my cousin gave me to  season it and then gifted it to me. I am sure she saw the love in my eyes for the Tawa. When I was newly married, I could never understand why my Mother-in-law loved steel utensils and Dibbas ...

Sharing my Tirupati Darshan experience on Amavasya.  Udayastanam Darshan: You can be a part of all Pujas from sunrise to sunset. You get to sit and be a part of the Puja closely get to see Balaji. Each Puja lasts for 40 min or so. There are 6-7 such Pujas.  Is this booking online? No.  This booking is done 30 years ago with a donation amount of ₹1 crore by the bhakt donor. Every day only 6 donors are allowed. Your day is fixed once a year when you give the donation. Each donor can go in with total of six people n children under 10 years. So total of 36 people allowed for this Darshan every day. This is booked from years. Now the 30 years is getting over. New Darshan for Udayastanam is for 1 crore donation but for 20 years only. For 1.5 crore it is for Friday Udayastanam as Friday is Vishnu s day.  What kind of people were there for the Darshan? Normal people like you n me . South Indian NRIs from Hyderabad n Bengaluru. They come to India once a year for this Darshan ...

 We had iron buckets in the bathrooms at our home in Jharia. Plastic buckets were not used as they broke easily. We had aluminium buckets which were lighter. We used them to carry water up the staircase from the chamber on the ground floor. Our kitchen had a steel bucket, which was precious. Some people  used an iron rod as a heater for water, and they had one plastic bucket to heat the water. We had a geyser and that too not the instant one. We used to keep the geyser on for a few hours at night, as we were six children bathing at five a.m. before leaving for school. Winters electricity used to go in the night. Some times water was kept in an old aluminium pot on the Chulha, which was dying. Usually the custom was to cool the fire in the Chula at night. We did not keep the fire burning. Everyone and everything was put to rest at night. In our wooden Mandir at home, there was a custom to put our Gods to sleep and wake them up in the morning.  Flowers were removed and Mom'...

 Pratapgad is a fort in the Sahyadris, near Mahabaleshwar, built by Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj. 'Pratap' is a Hindi word and it means victory, light, power n majestic all rolled into one. Our idea of victory is not to make a pile of skulls or collect Janeu from the killed people and make a bonfire. The fort is not controlled or run by ASI. It is on the top of the hills with dense forests all around even now. It has a bird's eye view of the whole area, the hill tops, the plains, the valley, the villages beneath n the rivers. It has access to three districts of Maharshtra. Shivaji commissioned the fort in 1655. It was ready in 1657. In 1659, Ahmed Shah Abdali sent Afzal Khan with a huge army to kill Shivaji Maharaj.  Then the story some of us  studied in our History books,  Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj and Afzal Khan had a meeting near Pratapgad and Shivaji killed him with tiger claws. Shivaji Maharaj's army defeated Abdali's army in the Battle of Pratapgad. Garh or G...

 Lonavla, Khandala, Matheran and Mahabaleshwar.... four places where Mumbaikars head for weekends. They are popular and close by. These four places are on the hills of Sahyadri. Alibaug is another preferred place which has a beach and good coastal cuisine. Lonavla and Khandala are twin towns and sound like sisters too. For years, I used to think Matheran and Mahabaleshwar are also twin towns. I never knew they are in totally different directions. When I was younger, Foreign trips meant Singapore and Bangkok. Later European trips meant London, Paris or Switzerland. No one differentiated between cities and countries. Some countries like Switzerland was more famous than its cities. And when one thought of London, England did not come into the picture. Like Paris was an entity in itself. There was no  difference between Bangkok, Hong Kong or Singapore. Manila and Malaysia were places you learnt to mark on a map during your Geography class. Life was lost between Grasslands, Steppes...

 All the idea of men and romance came from the books I read from the school library. Nancy Drew, Famous Five, The Scarlett Pimpernel, Pride and Prejudice, Black Beauty, D. H. Laurence etc. I used to love the books by Daphne Du Maurier. The setting for love was always European. Further in Mumbai, I started reading Mills and Boon, after eleventh grade. All men and women fought. Man was always tall, dark and piercing eyes. The Man always spoke less. He always had a huge house called some Windermere or Aberdeen or some such British name. All houses had huge gardens, view of the sea or on banks of a lake. There were beautiful flowers in the garden. There was a distance between the hero and heroine. I referred to the lead characters like that, courtesy Bollywood. The girl was always alone or in need or in some dire circumstances . But her spirit was intact.The Man was always a man and never a boy.  The fights and the sarcasm between the boy n the girl was the best part about reading...

 Making people laugh is a huge skill or a big art. I do not know how people manage that. I consider myself as someone who can laugh at jokes but not make people laugh. Is it an acquired skill? Does one learn it from family or from friends? Are loners good in humour or are gregarious people best at it? My mindless TV watching is about stand up comedy. Do I laugh about anything and  everything? No way! I have set up boundaries even there. I can create boundaries where none exist. That is the power of our mind. We think we are breaking boundaries or making our circle bigger? Is it about making more concentric circles? Do Venn diagrams still exist in my life?  Being liberal is one more such farce which I keep insisting on. I am open to what I think is good and right whether for me or for society or for the world. Life is always about me except that I am able to con a few into agreeing to my views or telling them mine are better than yours.  'I am better than you' is the ...

In Jharia, whenever we went out and came home, my grandmother had only one question for us. It was " "Majja aavi  aney su khaadhu?" Two questions, actually.  It means Did you enjoy and what did you eat? As a child, this was an irritating. Everything was fun when we went out and food was not important. I thought her only question was to know the menu. Gauri Bai did not eat from restaurants, she did not eat breads or cakes. She did not eat onion and garlic, so restaurant food was a big No for her. Dhanbad did not have the option of Jain food in restaurants which is without even potatoes. There was no concept of take-away foods and delivery boys. We all went out to eat. The "Double Gupchup" from Rameshwar came at home packed in a steel Dibba. It tasted delicious. Sitting in a restaurant and eating was a joy.  I used to think that  because Bai doesn't eat out, she wants to know what we eat. Now when my children go out and come home, my first question is "W...

After marriage, I got to live in apartments in buildings. We lived in rented accommodation. The building has flat owners and some people lease out their apartments. After hostel life, this apartment life is a new ball game entirely. And if you are on rent, God save you. These are smaller buildings where people know each other or have lived around for years. The Watchmen on duty know everyone who come into the building. They know the maids and the drivers too. In fact, if you need a maid, you have to inform the watchman. He chooses which maid, he thinks is suitable for your house and sends her to talk to you. We were not choosy. We hired the first maid, the watchman sent. Soon , there is a flutter in the building that some new tenants have come to live in 'so and so's flat. You learn to start with your hesitant smiles and in some cases are totally ignored. In hostel life, at any given point, you are not alone. Someone or the other is there at the dining room, washroom area or in...

I have lived in  hostels for fourteen years of my life. Every year, your room would be changed.When we were in college, after the first year, you were given an option to choose your roommates. It was a big political exercise. Each hostelite was given a form. You had to write your preference of room mates you want in the order of 1,2 and 3. The number of room mates would be 4, 3 or 2, depending on which year of college you were in. We filled this form with lot of secrecy if we were unsure who our real friends were. Some times, there was a lot of clarity that we four want to be together and then all of us would fill the form and put the same sequence and same set of friends. The hostel Warden was the ultimate decision making authority. You never came to know till you came back for the new academic year, who your roommates would be. If you reached the hostel before your friends, you got to choose your bed, desk and cupboard. Whether you got the bed near the window, sticking to the wal...

I am dealing with some metaphysical questions in my life. Should I or Shouldn't I ? Can I or Can I not? Is it for the higher good? Will it benefit all? Am I thinking only of my good with this? Should I talk to the concerned people or should I talk to strangers? Will the situation persist or do I have the power in my hands to change the situation? What if this continues? Where do we go from here? Am I scared of hard work? Why can't I make this work? Am I reading too much into this? Is it causing a lot of stress? Is Social Media adding to my woes? Am I being plain lazy and stupid? Why can't I learn to adjust? Will it be fair to all concerned? What am I resisting at this point in my life? The eternal question is to be or not to be.  And with lot of internal churning I have got the real area I am dealing with in my life. It is whether to have a live-in house help. In these times, my existing staff's residential areas are in containment zone. Strange but in the new parlance,...

With the onset of monsoon, the sun and the sea are are doing 'athkheliyaan' together. One side of the house sees dark clouds and the other part shows the bright sun. Children are constantly telling us to look out. In our house, one doesn't have to walk to the window to look out as there are windows everywhere but one definitely has to lift their head and turn the neck in both directions. The gadgets sometimes take over and we miss a few sunsets. This Lockdown makes one want to experience all things and not miss out on even one sunset. To think that living in this house for the last ten years and have taken the spectacular view so much for granted.  Today, just before sunset, the sun was bright and it was raining and huge dark clouds around the sun could not take the brightness away. We used to call this phenomena as a fox/ Siyaar/ Lomdi getting married. As children, this was the most exciting thing. I knew about fox and wolf and not the difference only through the story o...

Rains have arrived in Mumbai and how. The Monday started with heavy rains, Tuesday was the wait for the winds to churn us up a little more. My Cook, Eat, Clean and Sleep playlist which has been running on a loop, got some fancy music. Rains were soothing. Mother Earth was not too keen on releasing its 'Saundhi khusbhu' of the first showers. Do not blame her as this time our senses were ready for the Nisargh attack. Body is working on high alert with all systems firing but no where to go. Keeping yourself safe is a strange phenomena. Does it mean believing that I am invincible? Does it mean that it will come due to herd spread any which ways? Does it mean that pray and hope for the best? Really what are we thinking right now? How come I am not convinced that more people are impacted by the common cold? All those desires to learn new things, try new stuff in the kitchen, paint new masterpieces etc. have they all faded? Most people living in buildings and societies are havin...

In the Lockdown, some men have their hair grown long and some have gone bald. Women have started cutting their hair on their own at home. Some of them have cut hair for their family members . For Hair Colour, people usually used to go to the Salon or get the 'Parlour Waali' home. Now those things will be avoided for some time. My nails are cut short and then chipped. The finger tips have lot of cuts from the knives and other sharp kitchen equipment. Kitchen is all about mindfulness. A moment of your attention going else where and you can mess up with the hands or the food.My hands are totally dry and raw with the innumerable times washing with soap. I used to have very soft hands for years. Mom used to say it is because you never had to do any hard work. Hard work according to Mom is doing dishes, cleaning the house and cooking. My Nutribullet which is my sole source of Nutrition, is not working now. The machine works well and the jar is fine.  It is just a small little piece...

I am oscillating between should I make my Will or should I teach my children to cook? Do I keep a bag ready, as I did during pregnancy with all baby clothes washed a couple of times? I remember not buying Baby clothes in advance, as we consider that inauspicious. Where was the time to do all that? I was working as the Director of Sales for a Five Star Hotel. We were in the pre launch stages and there was tons of work to be done. I used to come home, cook dinner and get ready for the next day. There was no time to go shopping for clothes, mine or for the Baby who was yet to be born. We believe better not to put new clothes for the baby. The New Born should have soft fabrics which are well worn. I remember going to Matunga Central with a dear friend from the hostel. Inside the vegetable market, there was a shop which sold baby clothes. The shopkeeper knew what all I will need and kept showing stuff. We both with no experience of a New born played safe and bought very little. Mom was go...

There is a pressure on time even in the Lockdown. Actually, the timings have gone all haphazard at home plus my efficiency levels are not at the optimum. New levels of patience with timings are needed. We have all gone into the slow zone mode. Mood swings are a norm now. I am not able to multi task. I am not even in Yoga zone. Slow life is where I am but not consciously. Not enjoying it as I become harsh on myself. My friend told me, you have to let somethings go. I am letting a lot go in terms of how I want my house to be. But I guess, there is more I need to let go. Here, when I am meditating with Sri Sri everyday and he keeps saying Let go. Even letting go of my breath is not easy. I am thinking of some clothes which I had kept to be given for dry-cleaning. There is a bag full of Sarees for fall and beeding and Saree blouses to be stitched . I am concerned about do I stitch them and wear them for Ganpati. How will Ganpati be this year in Maharashtra? How will we have Bappa at home...

I was thinking that by October 2020, things would have settled down. I will be able to take a small holiday someplace in the hills or a wildlife sanctuary. With all the apprehension about the second phase of the virus, I am not so sure. Now if I manage to go and eat something nice in a restaurant, I would be grateful. I cannot believe that here I am complaining about all the insane chatter around food at home and in all the WhatsApp groups, and then the first thing I want to do when the Lockdown opens, is eat at a restaurant. What a glutton I am! Is food something with which I nourish my body or is it what my life revolves around? I knew someone who was a very good cook, and she would keep talking about all the fancy food she made. I remember sniggering with other friends and saying food is to fill your stomach and to be enjoyed socially, how can someone only talk about it. My working friends would also look down upon people who talked only about their cooking and HouseKeeping prowes...

Personal space is such an important thing amongst people these days. Parents are bending backwards to provide space to their kids, physical and emotional. No one wants to be disturbed. No one wants to be questioned. No one wants to be responsible or answerable for anything. It is all about 'letting them be' and 'let me be'. Family closeness is reducing in the name of 'providing space'. One is not to talk about troubled relationships to anyone and one cannot ask family or friends about their relationships. Friends' spouses having extra marital affairs but all pretending that it is hunky-dory.  No one asks anyone any personal question, lest you step into their private space. Growing up in a joint family and living in a hostel, this concept of personal space was weird. Post marriage, I saw how new people in my life, were so secretive. Husband said, it is their personal space. I was like " Huh, what is that?" I grew up in a family, where even a littl...

In most of the hostels that I lived in, water was precious. The water cooler was only on one floor, usually in the dining area on the ground floor. Our rooms were always from the first to fourth floor. One had to come down all the way, to fill their bottles and in my case, the Copper Matka. Water was scarce in the bathrooms too. In the Nariman Point hostel, surrounded by residences of Ministers, the rich, the High court judges and IAS officers, there were timings for toilet water . Hot water was available only two hours in the morning and one hour in the evening. There was one geyser per floor in the common bathroom area. When we woke up, even before brushing our teeth, we ran to keep our bucket in the hot water queue. There were certain girls, who would steal your hot water. Some would go and put your bucket behind and their bucket in the front of the queue. Some girls were smarter, they just stole 2 mugs of hot water from each filled bucket and ran for a bath. The bathrooms also ha...